This is what I am talking about!
This is what I am talking about!
I am back. I left the blogging world for a couple of days. I could not find the strength that it takes to come in here and share my daily struggles.
In my defence, I have organized an event for 200 people over the past four days. Plus I submitted my papers for my residency here in New Zealand, plus my mom is moving to Madagascar in two months and I believe the fear of having her so far away is getting to me, and I have had nightmares every night. So there, there are my lame excuses or in my mind, not so lame and not excuses.
I have also been busy pushing my Wellington Women Walking Project, which is something that has me very happy. I have huge plans for this and I only hope I can find the courage and strength in me to take it as far as I know it can go. This means not listening to my inner weak devil or other people’s weak devils for that matter.
But I have promised myself that I would jump back on the saddle today, no matter what!! I have so much to do, I don’t even know where to begin, but I thought that a list and this honesty blog post would be a good start. Hope you are all having a great day!
Its one of those days where I just want to eat a whole chocolate cake or a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice-cream, while I watch Oprah’s farewell episode and then crawl into bed and sleep for 12 hours.
Here the challenge is to understand what is really going on, what am I making up, what part of all of this is make-belief, suffery stuff and what do I really need to address.
So, as you can see, it’s a busy task and I don’t have time to eat a bucket of ice cream or a chocolate cake and go to sleep, I need to sort my thoughts and feelings and aligns them with my goals.
I have no idea what to write about today. My head seems fried and in override and my heart seems to have put itself into protection mode. If I let him feel and run free, I might shatter in fear. I am very overwhelmed, I think, I guess. I have no idea why I feel like this. My hypothesis? I will be applying for my residency here in New Zealand this week and its such a big deal. There is so much on the line with this for me. So important for me, that it’s probably just clouding everything else in my life, my head and heart.
Note to self: Be strong, whatever happens I will be ok!
Will keep you posted.
Wish me luck.
A dear friend of mine sent me this list today and made me smile. Hope it makes you smiles! Have a great day!
1. Try everything twice.
On one woman’s tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
“Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!”
2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)
3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever…
Never let the brain get idle. ’An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,spend lots and
lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only
person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while
you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: whether it’s family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, keep it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don’t take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign
country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get
a second chance
I have coping mechanisms. I learnt that term today and I like it.
Do you have coping mechanisms?
I always think about this Michael Jordan video when I think of doing something that I am scared of, but I know that if I only push, I will become that much more of a better person. Like him. He is such an inspiration to me, and so grateful to have been alive in his time.
Life has thrown me a curb ball that’s all about flexibility. How much can I push myself into uncomfortable positions? How tolerant can I be to meet my goals? How much am I willing to take, do, say and not say?
Well, we will just have to wait and see wont we? Because today was one of the most uncomfortable days and a day when I have had to pull out all my tricks from my bag and be as flexible as possible. Will I make it? Who know, but I will definitely try!